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Published February 13, 2011 More Info »
488 Funny Votes
71 Die Votes
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Published February 13, 2011

Love?  Oh, you mean between a man and a woman?  Because I could tell you about love between a man and his favorite chair, a man and his stable of horses, or his beard, but between a man and a woman, I'm... not so sure.  My knowledge of such is very limited, just ask my wife.  Often, I'll see a woman that grabs my attention, in a way that part of me wants to take her out, wine her and dine her, tell her how much I appreciate the way she moves, but another part of me wants to watch her take her shoes off and brush her hair.  You know what I love?  The smell of an old car.  Most people, the kids, they like the smell of new cars.  Not me, to me they smell too sterile, too innocent.  I like that old, musky smell of dirty plastic seats and salty cigar smoke.  Give me an old car paired with a light helping of chicken fingers and now we're talkin'.  The only thing is, chicken fingers and old car smells can't love you back the way a woman can.  Trust me, I tried to make it work.  Love is educational.  You learn alot about yourself through it - like, you learn that you should only love one woman at a time, and that you shouldn't say "now that's the spirit!" when your woman says "I love you".  I learned that the hard way.  But that's how I learn most things, the hard way.  Shit, you don't want to hear me talk about this stuff, at somepoint you gotta look at your own scoreboard and not everyone else's.   

- C.W.

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