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October 25, 2010

Jonathan Silverman would be proud.

It's easy to dismiss Weekend at Bernie's as some dumb comedy about two slackers parading a dead body around while they live it up in the Hamptons. I mean, it is. But that's why it's awesome. But recently the flim's ridiculous plot hasn't seen so far fetched, as real life events have resembled the antics of one (dead) Bernie Lomax. In retrospect, this movie was wayyy ahead of its time.

Here are four instances in which Bernie Lomax has been brought to life, so to speak.

4. Taking Bernie for a Spin

You know how people often purchase inflatable men to place in the passenger seats of cars to feel safer and less vulnerable to attack? Wouldn't it just be easier to use an actual body?

Yes, yes it would. That's exactly what happened when a Southern California woman found a homeless woman dead in her car and proceeded to keep her there for 10 MONTHS. The owner of the car was reportedly afraid to tell the police, but we have a feeling she just wanted the access to the carpool lane. Just like Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman claimed to be afraid to tell anyone, when really they just wanted to live it up in Bernie's beach house. Hers just lacked the charm of those two.

Lomax Rating: 6

There's our star out for a spin

3. Sleeping With BernieĀ 

A Vietnamese man dug up his wife's grave and brought her into bed his bed for some cuddle time. No big deal. He just loved his wife and couldn't stand being apart fro her. I get it. It's not like this went on for five years while he and his neighbors went on with their lives. Oh that did happen? It went on for five years.

This is just like that scene in Weekend at Bernie's when Bernie totally sleeps with that woman despite the fact that he's dead (classic). The only difference is that-- oh no. No difference. This happened. And it's fucked up.

Lomax Rating: 7

2. Ol Moneybags Lomax

Bernie was rich. And Jonathan Silverman and Andrew McCarthy's characters totally exploited that while squatting at his beach house and hitting on his beach women. So we can't help but be impressed with the devotion to the film displayed by two nutjobs who attempted to wheel a dead man into a Check-Cashing Store and cash the man's social security check.

The giveaway? The dead body flopping around while they tried to prop him up. But then again, that's just ripe for physical comedy.

Lomax Rating: 9

1. Bringing Bernie to the Airport

In April, two women attempted to sneak their deceased relative onto a flight in Liverpool. Considering the travel involved, we admit that this one more closely resembles Weekend at Bernie's 2. But we'll let that slide.

The 91-year-old man reportedly arrived at the airport with them in a taxi, which of course further proves the unspoken condition we all have with cabbies - they don't take notice of the lewd acts going on the backseat and we don't get mad when they confuse us by talking into a bluetooth earpiece yet sounding like they're talking to us. Regardless, yjpihj the cabbie didn't notice, TSA was on top of it. Perhaps it was the blank stare he gave when asked if he packed his own bags.

Needless to say, the sickies carrying around a dead body were arrested and one even tried to defend herself with the following:

"They would think that for 24 hours we would carry a dead person? This is ridiculous. He was moving, he was breathing. Eight people saw him."

Totally understandable. Anyone who's seen Weekend at Bernie's knows that Bernie Lomax still managed to be the life of the party, chatting up tennis pros and saucy blondes with the best of them.

Lomax Rating: 10