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June 09, 2016

Why does one have to come first? In my opinion, that seems selfish on the chicken's part.

What’s with all this one at a time nonsense? Sync those babies up.

— Dr. Jessica Largo

Controversy rings out in the scientific community as doctor Jessica Largo tread new ground on the infamous “which came first, the chicken or the egg” question, suggesting that maybe they could both come at the same time so the egg wouldn’t have to work extra hard to come later when the chicken’s already done and kind of lost interest.

We live in a world where it’s become okay for the chicken to sometimes come twice before the egg, Trevor.

— Dr. Jessica Largo

Opposition is strong, with the other side suggesting that perhaps the egg is just cranky, and that it’s “undeserved attitude” is effecting its ability to come at the same rate of the chicken. Talk of the chicken simply being faster has sprung up, and that this is in no way a hinderance to the chicken, as the chicken is a busy animal, with many things to do. Theories have also arisen that the chicken trying, but there is only so much you can do without playing God, and that maybe chickens were just made to come first.

Look, the chicken knows its not perfect. Maybe if the egg could realize that too, they could bridge this divide instead of the forcing the chicken to fly to the other side, which we all know chickens cannot do.

— Dr. Trevor Largo

Dr. Jessica Largo has responded to these comments, stating that the egg is merely trying to evolve, and not become like those other animals who all come before the egg. The chicken and the egg still have a chance.

People are still asking “What comes first, the chicken or the egg?” but pretty soon they’ll just assume it’s the chicken, just like they do for ostriches, penguins, and the rest of the egg layers. Call me a dreamer, but I think the chicken and the egg could come at the same time if the chicken learned how to use its fucking beak.

— Dr. Jessica Largo