Social ON
Social OFF
Hi,
I'm Emo. Maybe I did something wrong last time. I only want human people to
respond. I got lots of responses. And I'm quite sure none of them were
prostitutes. That part is good. But I'm pretty sure some of them weren't real
human people. One girl, her name was MelissaXXX, said she loved my ad and she
wanted me to contact her on a site she was on. So I went to the site. I made a
profile. And I searched for MelissaXXX and what do you know, she didn't exist.
Maybe I went to the wrong site. Two other girls, Wendy OMalley and Laurra
Heintz both typed the exact same thing. They both really liiiiiiked my ad. I
counted the i's. They were the same amount. But their pics were different, so I
wrote to them. I told them I was a Christian and I absolutely will not date
robots. Then Wendy wrote back immediately. I don't know how she responded so
quickly. Anyway, she said thanks for writing and wanted me to go to a site. I
felt bad so I went to the site. I made a profile. I looked up her username but
she didn't exist? Weird, huh? I think Wendy and MelissaXXX are in cahoots. So,
I think it’s sad I have to explain this, but I simply will not enter into a
relationship with a robot. I am Christian. I like women with real body parts. I
especially don't like robots who are prostitutes. If you send me pictures where
you are dressed in next to nothing, the first thing I will do is look at them
for an hour, then I will pray for forgiveness, then I will write back, then I
will look at the new pictures, then I will go to the website, then I will look
at all the other pictures of robot prostitutes, then I will pray for
forgiveness again, etc. So please, if it's not too much to ask. I would like a
nice Christian non-robot non-prostitute girl. The things I like to do are
Scrabble, movies, music, talking and being on top. If you are a prostitute,
please do not respond.
-from the god-awful book "My Search For Love On Craigslist" by Michael Zinetti, using one of the book's personae, Emo, who is basically a socially inept dustmite with several debilitating hang-ups, worst of which being a love/hate relationship with robot-prostitutes....
-from the god-awful book "My Search For Love On Craigslist" by Michael Zinetti, using one of the book's personae, Emo, who is basically a socially inept dustmite with several debilitating hang-ups, worst of which being a love/hate relationship with robot-prostitutes....
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