Hey guys. I know being from the North Pole is sorta like “my thing” in the same way we associate Spike Lee with New York or Ben Affleck with Boston but I’m officially announcing, I’m making a break for it. My friends have been telling me for years that, if I really cared about my career, I’d move to L.A. and I’m finally ready.
Because of this, I’ll be delivering presents a little differently this year. L.A. is going to be the last stop on the trip so that way I can just stay there. (Usually I finish in Detroit cause, if I run out of presents, I don’t mind giving them less.) If you had kids in L.A., tell them they don’t need to get up till like 10 a.m. But it just doesn’t make sense to fly around the entire world with a sleigh capable of holding all the world’s presents and not just pack up my own shit, too. My sleigh is like the world’s best U-Haul and it even comes with personal drivers I know and trust. So in addition to all those great gifts for you guys, I’m gonna be loading up my mattress, a desk, and a couple of suits for interviews/auditions. Plus if I move on Christmas, I’ll be good and settled by pilot season, which is the main reason I’m going. If the part’s right, I’m even willing to shave! I’m gonna get rid of the sleigh once I arrive, though, cause I’m nervous about parking. Maybe trade it in for a Prius. My friend Yukon Cornelius got a Prius in November and he said he JUST YESTERDAY had to put gas in it for the first time. That’s wild. The sleigh is a GUZZLER.
Let me be clear: The North Pole is the greatest city in the world. And I honestly hope in a few years I can move back. But I just feel like I’ve accomplished everything I need to here and, if I really wanna take my career to the next level, I gotta get to Hollywood. I’m so excited to really get moving and get legit reps and all that other junk. (Speaking of, if anyone’s got an agent or manager they really love and would feel comfortable making an introduction, PLEASE let me know!!) Also, while I get settled, I’ll probably crash on a few friends’ couches but, eventually, I’m looking for a one bedroom if anyone has any leads. Ultimately want Los Feliz or Silverlake but would definitely do West Hollywood to start. (It might even be ideal cause W.H. is near my storytelling class.)
And just to get this out of the way, a lot of folks have been asking if me and Mrs. Claus are staying together. The answer is, yes, we’re gonna try!! Who knows what’ll happen in the future but we’re both committed to this relationship and we have several friends who have successfully made long distance work. Plus we’re gonna visit each other a ton and, of course, there’s always Skype. She will have her hands full, though, so if anyone is looking to adopt a reindeer, please let us know! They’ve all had their shots and, honestly, they act more like dogs than reindeer. They’re the best.
For everyone in the North Pole, I’ll probably have a going-away thing on like the 20th or 21st, if you wanna stop by. Just gotta check my schedule cause I still need to pack and this is already my busy season. I guess just check Facebook cause, if I can make it work, I’ll probably send an Event Invite in the next couple of days.
Also there are few things I’m looking to get rid of — loose tinsel, human-sized candy canes, etc., so if anyone in the North Pole could use this stuff PLEASEEEEE come by. It’s all free, you just need to pick it up. I can’t bring it with me but I’d hate to throw it away.
North Pole folks — I’m gonna miss you all a ton. L.A. friends — get ready!!! If anyone wants to go on a hike or whatever, please let me know! (Or if you know if anyone’s looking for temp work!!! PLEASE!!!)