Ladies, it’s three months into the year and you haven’t yet driven your entire family off the interstate from a Minion-overexposure rage blackout. Congrats. That’s huge. It’s also great you’re still here with us because it’s Women’s History Month and we want to help you celebrate!

We get that as a woman you’re inherently frantic and tense, so here are some ideas of how to drop any anxiety you might feel about celebrations, be a little selfish, and bask in your womanhood.

Celebrate Your Sense Of Humor

Tweet something very funny, turn your phone on vibrate, put it in your pants, and celebrate with every single RT and fav.

Splish Splash, You’re Now Having A Blast!

Celebrate by running a hot bath. After soaking in it for a few minutes, move your crotch to the faucet and let the party begin!

DIY!

Unplug! Turn off your phone and turn on the celebration! The only digits you’ll need are the one’s the good lord gave ya! Woo hoo!

Go Retro!

Have chores to do? Throw your dirty clothes in the laundry machine and as it’s on, rub up against it! We call this solo sock hop, The Betty Draper.

It Takes Two

Why celebrate alone? Have a romantic partner join in on the affair and help you celebrate. If they’re hesitant, give them a gentle reminder that you’ve thrown many many parties for them and they owe you. Make sure they bring cake (cake cake cake cake cake cake!!)

Ride A Horse

Some ladies are lucky enough to be able to celebrate on horseback. If you’re in that league, take a trip out to the country and party down! Can’t get out of town? Hop on the old iron horse and enjoy a cycling celebration!

Why Stop Celebrating?

Just because March will eventually end and parties typically have a last call, doesn’t mean this Women’s History Month celebration has to.

Dispel the myth that women don’t celebrate as often as men or that their parties take too long! In fact, what’s so great about women celebrating is that it’s a lot less of a mess afterwards than a boy-party! Let your parties be loud and raucous! And anyone who disagrees with that shouldn’t be on the invite list. They sound like no fun!

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