WASHINGTON DC: House and Senate Republicans today warned President-Elect Barack Obama and his family not to select what they referred to as “an Un-American dog” for their pet.
“I’m very concerned”, said Congressman Jeb Hensnarling, “with all this talk of a so-called ‘shelter’ dog. A dog who has not earned its food and water and bed and bathes and squeaky toys, but instead has been given them by the state. If you are living in a commune it would seem to me you are by definition a communist”. Hensnarling added that he was “very troubled by what message this sends to the hard working squirrels and birds on the White House lawn”.
Senator Tom Coburn also expressed fears that any dog which comes from a shelter “may not have accepted Christ”. Coburn went on to say that his constituents are “less concerned with hypoallergenic than they are with Hosannas on high”.
A GOP spokesperson later confirmed that the party is completely out of sane ideas.