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November 03, 2012

Sword = penis

Today's Thrift Store Book Club offering is Rash Reckless Love by Valerie Sherwood.

The cover...


From the back page...

“She was Fate's plaything... scorned when people thought her only a bondswoman's niece, courted as if she were a princess when Fortune made her a potential heiress. Then hounded into a headlong flight when she lost her inheritance.

But Georgianna was equal to every trick of Fate. She was the daughter of Imogene, the only woman whose beauty could rival her own, the woman who edared to love the fearless pirate renowned as 'the best blade in the Caribbean.'


Andy's note: Just so you know, by blade, they mean his dick. Oh, you caught that, okay, okay, just making sure you're getting the full experience here. Carry on... 

Even barefoot and in homespun, Georgianna was proud, passionate, a feast for the eyes and heart. And no man could gaze upon her without yearning.”


Rash Reckless Love, emphasis on rash, is 600 page romp through the Caribbean.  I didn't read all 600 pages.  I skimmed through until I found the sex parts and the sex parts that are disguised with careful wording and imagery.

“...he made her fully his with one last swordlike thrust...”



“And all in the arms of a lover who had made many women his—and left them all.”


Left them all... a rash?  Honestly, I found this book to be one big clock tease.  You heard me...

"With his free arm cradling her back he swung her torso back and forth against him.  Like the pendulum of a big clock! she thought, amazed at his supple strength."


Yeah, that's some big clock.

In this next scene, Imogene is with Van Ryker, the man of her dreams.  He's a handsome, dashing buccaneer.  They're roughing it in the wild, but he is a "man of many resources," he tells her.

"She watched him stride forward.  Still naked and gleaming with rivulets of the cool spring water that dashed off him as he moved, he seized his sword--- Whoa, whoa, whoa!  Come on, man, have a little tact! ---and began to hack off fronds and great clumps of tropical grasses."

Well... alright then.  I'm sorry, it's just... your mind kind of goes there with these books.

I'm not really sure what happens in the rest of this book.  I'm assuming it's a lot of...

  • Swords plunging
  • Women pressed up against men and their "manhood" or their "manly hardness"
  • Breasts being freed from a bodice
  • Nipples and chests getting friendly
  • The word "panting" being used far too much
  • Women "receiving" men 

And unfortunately, I've not read the first book, Bold Breathless Love, but I'm sure it's just as good.  Rash Reckless Love probably answered a lot of the unanswered questions readers had after finishing Bold Breathless Love

Don't miss the other exciting books in this series!

  • Incredible Itchy Love
  • Magical Medicated Love
  • Topically Treated Love