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Published September 02, 2009 More Info ยป
25 Funny Votes
11 Die Votes
Published September 02, 2009
1. aluminum foil cannot be microwaved2. seagulls love my head3. teeth do not make good can openers4. don't stare down a pitbull wearing a chain link collar5. don't kneel down to pet a goat......EVER6. if you have goldfish, communicate with your family about feeding them...that way you will know whether everyone fed them, and they wont explode7. blond hair turns green in heavily chlorinated water8. mr. clean has ammonia in it. i'm pretty sure ajax has bleach. don't mix them. you wont feel well after9. never use your dad's cuisinart blender for art projects10. use a sharp blade when cutting tomotoes11. ex-lax never works when it says it will on the box.12. don't keep 2 used 9 volt batteries in your pocket. you will get hot pants.13. don't light the wrong end of a cigarrette. twice.14. coffee filters may be good toilet paper for a while, but the plumbing takes a beating15. bissell vacuum bags do not fit on a hoover vacuum.16. chinchillas are very fast and good hiders17. if you live in PA, you need 4 wheel drive.18. if the milk smells funky, don't drink it.19. never eat seafood at an all-u-can-eat buffet in vegas before boarding the red eye20. always tip the guy/girl who ties the christmas tree to the roof of you car....if you don't, they can ruin your holiday21. triple a is a necessity22. always look under the hood of your car after you get if back from the may be missing some parts23. don't saw off a toilet seat until you have a replacement toilet seat24. if you need more than one sock drawer, you have too many socks25. never walk into a bank with a pillowcase(full of change) wearing a hat and sunglasses(on a sunny day) seems to alarm the staff