or

AL. Alabama was its father’s name. Everybody 'round here just calls it Al.
 
AZ. Arizona is the birthplace of the ‘90s R&B group AZ Yet.
 
CA. California is a satellite outpost of Canada.
 
CO. As in “company”—Colorado is the only privately owned state in the U.S.
 
DE. Is Spanish for “of,” as in “of all the things to do in Delaware, the only thing you can really do is ask a resident in Spanish, of which everyone is fluent, what there is to do.”
 
GA. The entire state of Georgia is general admission. NO SEAT ASSIGNMENTS.
 
HI. Hawaii is the friendliest state.
 
ID. Even way over the age of 30, and even if everyone else doesn’t get carded, Idaho is always asked to provide I.D.
 
IL. Illinois was the first of his friends to buy Nas' Illmatic.
 
IN. As the official wingman of the United States, Indiana always says “you’re so in, you’re so in” when other states are scoping out girls at the club.
 
KY. As it’s the driest state, Kentucky requires lubrication.
 
LA. In 1993, created the first L.A. Law fansite.
 
ME. Maine is the most selfish state.
 
MD. The state of Maryland is a licensed physician and really lets everybody know it.
 
MA. Everybody's mom lives there.
 
MS. Does not feel the need to be quantified or addressed due to her marital status or lack thereof.
 
MO. Acquired the nickname due to frequent karaoke performances of Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell,” and makes a real ass of itself yelling out that “mo, mo, mo!” part.
 
MT. Because it’s “empty,” or “MT.” Get it? Seriously though, nobody lives there.
 
NY. Home of Bill Ny, the Science Gy.
 
OH. The state’s forlornly delivered catchphrase, as Ohio walks away from another function it wasn’t invited to. Ohio is a real sad bastard.
 
OK. It is a thoroughly okay place to live.
 
OR. In a state first settled entirely by renegade surgeons who moved west to perform untested procedures without interference from the government or AMA, Oregon's vast expanses of nature were once open-air operating rooms, or O.R.s
 
PA. Pennsylvania is the birthplace of more than 80 percent of all daytime talk show production assistants.
 
UT. Utah boasts the immensely popular college football powerhouse, the University of Texas. (Go Aggies!)
 
VT. Went to Virginia Tech.
 
WI. Dropping not-very-subtle hints that it wants a Wii for its birthday.
 
WY. Been reading a lot of Nietzsche, kind of going through an existential crisis.
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