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August 29, 2008


The Most Poweful Man In The World Is Decided By Defacto!

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Peter Principle. I will try to explain. The Peter Principle states that within any organization a person will rise too his/her level of incompetence and go no farther. Example- Bob is good at making fried onion rings which is an entry level position at The We-Have-Bad-Gas fast food emporium. He is so good at frying onion rings the boss decides he should be promoted. Good for Bob! He will receive a small wage increase and all the honors that go with becoming the new hamburger fryer. The problem lies in the fact that Bob as intelligent a fellow as he might be. Has no real experience frying hamburgers. He never once demonstrated his efficiency at frying hamburgers. No he was promoted to his position because as you will recall- He fried good onion rings. Good for Bob! Bob has two ways to go here. He may at a later time be promoted to the position of Head Milk-Shake maker by demonstrating his ability to proficiently fry hamburgers(see the problem?) The other thing that might happen to Bob is he might find frying hamburgers is a whole new ball-game and not be very good at it. In which case Bob will spend eternity frying hamburgers until he gets good at it. Either way I think it is safe to assume Bob is a loser! The other factor which limits Bob the loser to either excel or fail. Would be his co-workers. Bob shows up for work on time 3 days a week. Good for Bob. However once a month Bob takes his Aunt Estelle to the bunion Dr. this makes Bob late for work once a month. Bad Bob! Troy shows up for work on time 3 days a week but doesn't give a fig about his Aunt Sophie's bunions. Thus he will get promoted faster than Bob because he is not late once a month. Good for Troy! However who is really the better person here? The boss just promoted an uncaring, snide, little punk to a better position. Which employee best demonstrates the wholesome values of the family friendly persona that Have-Bad-Gas fast food emporium claims to have? Bad boss! The other scenario which Bob might encounter is this. Bob shows up to work 3 days a week on time. He however shows up late the other 2 days a week because Bob has a drinking problem. Let's party Bob! Chuck shows up to work on-time one time a week. However he shows up late four days a week due to a larger drinking problem. Great party last night Chuck! Bob will get the promotion before Chuck de-facto Or both track records are dismal but the least dismal of the status-quo is Bob. Good for Bob! This is where we all should work by the way. Look for employees who are bigger slackers than you if that's at all possible! Good for Us!

The presidency of the United States Of America is decided in exactly the same fashion. True the dance is a little more complicated. However the same rules apply. Neither candidate has ever been president of this or any other country. We will be making a decision based on their past experience as a Senator, Congressman, Captain of Industry, or Military Performance record. The link here between this and the Peter Principle is neither candidate has experience being a president. We are assuming they will become a good president if elected, because they were good at their last position.(see the problem?) The one thing we can be assured of is this will be the highest level of incompetence either person will ever reach. Good for Them! We complain of inefficient government, higher taxes, wasteful spending, bad war policies, bad social policies, etc. etc. These are the people who made all that possible. Bad candidates! The one defining feature they both share from their respective parties? They were the best at being bad! They were the two people in America who became the best at side stepping issues, throwing stones, jumping to conclusions, and had the good sense to become good at speaking about nothing. The trick here is to make it sound like something. They have both gotten good at this skill. Yes they are in fact the best two people in the country at saying nothing while making it sound like something! Good candidates.

Is your head swimming yet? If not consider this! In America all things being equal you have approxiamtely a 50/50 chance of being either a Democrat or a Repiblican. Why? Because these are basically your only two choices. There are other political affiliations but none that matter at this point in time. Of this 50% chance perhaps 25% of either party enjoys a loyal staunch unwavering share of dedicated party members. That means half of the people will either vote strait Republican or strait Democratic tickets. Leaving 50% of the population to decide their vote on things like issues of the day, track record of voting history in previous position(Senator, Congressman Etc.) We shall call these people swing voters. Of us in the swing category maybe half of us actually research any of these things. Leaving the decision up to other people to decide like perhaps the media, the Daily Show, The Colbert Report, NBC, CBS, ABC or for the weak minded FOX. Good media! That leaves a whopping 25% of all Americans to decide who will be our next president by proxy. Of these 25% many will go on to get an informed opinion by other outlets. Like for instance TV commercials, their hair-stlylist, their neighbor, their Pastor, or their best friend Hinkey whom they've know all their life. That leaves a percentage of voters left who will actually decide the presidency. This number varies widely but it is safe to say is around 9-10%. These people are the meat and potatoes of all campaign efforts. They are the deciding factor the tipping point for all election wins. Who are these people? They are Bob, Chuck, and Troy. They could really give a fig about your middle class issues. They don't care one wit about what the candidates did in their former proffession! No they decide their vote on a list of things nobody else even considers. Which candidate has the best looking wife? Which canditate has the best hair style? Which candidate will be more entertaining for the next four years? Which candidate will the Saturday Night Live cast be able to imitate? These are the deciding factors. Not isssues. Bad issues! Issues will resolve themselves no matter what action the candidate takes or what in-action he takes. However for the next four years his wife will not get any prettier. His hair will not get any thicker. His ability for a an imitatable persona will not get any funnier! Good swing voter! Reassuring isn't it? The fate of the leader of the most powerful nation in history maybe decided by the suit coat he chooses. I personally use the dart board method. Not in the traditional sense. I have six darts 3 red 3 blue. I have a garage converted to a bar(man digs). Alongside the path to the dart board is a row of slot machines. As I begin to toss these darts I also begin to drink. As I get more and more inebriated more and more darts start to get lodged behind the slot machines. When I am down to one last dart be it either red or blue that is how my vote is cast. Remember for all things political look for answers anywhere but FOX. For all things non-sensical look for my ramblings at http://hootnhowell.blogspot.com/ or just leave me a message below in the comment section.