Written by Ed Toolis, union president
Look, the human race needs a certain level of self-esteem to make life bearable on this planet. But every time we almost get where we need to be, some wiseass just has to come along and ruin everything.
For instance, for a while there, we were positive that we were special. That all of creation was about us and that the Earth was the center of the universe. But then some jerk just had to come along with undeniable evidence that we’re just insignificant inhabitants on an inconsequential planet, in a universe full of trillions of planets. And believe me, it took five hundred years of grueling work by humor creators to come up with a way to laugh off that blow to our ego.
And just when we were getting used to the idea that we were at least special on this planet, yet another wiseass just had to come along with undeniable evidence that we’re not the only toolmakers here. That monkeys and even insects do it all the time and that we probably learned the skill from them.
But before us humor creators could come up with a way to cope with that, a series of unfeeling bastards hit us with one blow after another. Like we’re not the only ones who mourn our dead. That when roaming elephants come upon the bones of a fallen member of the herd, they have a ceremony to mourn the memory of the dearly departed. That all kinds of animals get stoned on hallucinogenics. That male chimps regularly get wasted on fermented tree sap and make obnoxious passes on members of the opposite sex. That adolescent monkeys masturbate. That gorillas have pets. That dolphins not only invented surfing but also had sex orgies thousands of years before we ever fantasied about having them. I mean, it goes on and on and on.
And so, today, our fragile ego hinges on just one quality—and although it’s not exclusive to us, we can live with it, because only beings with higher intelligence, regardless of planet, have it. I’m talking about having a sense of humor. But sure as heck, some sadistic, bleeping bleep just has to come along with undeniable evidence that Koko, a gorilla, not only plays practical jokes on his trainers, but also does word play and even laughs at his own jokes!!!!
This is not funny. Everybody knows that being funny isn’t something you’re born with. Believe me, it takes twenty years of hard, grueling work and being humiliated on stage hundreds of times before you can develop that kind of ability—if you’re lucky.
I mean, how much can mankind take? If this turns out to be some sick practical joke, played on us by Koko’s trainers, we can kind of get it.
So, What Can You, a Humor Fan, Do to Help Us Help Mankind Overcome This Insult to Our Ego?
Well, frankly, this revelation is so devastating, that our members are having a really hard time coming up with jokes to laugh it off. What would really help, right now, would be a few kind words of appreciation for all we’ve done for mankind, throughout the millennia.
And you can start by going to Facebook, searching for “UCWA,” the Union of Comedy Writers and Actors’ page, liking it and sharing it with all your friends.
Second, you can show your heartfelt appreciation for our members by seeing a few shows and subscribing to a few dozen blogs, podcasts and YouTube channels.
And of course, it goes without saying that all our members thank you in advance for your kind support.
An online or offline hug would be nice too.
Copyright © 2017 by Ed Toolis – All Rights Reserved
Ed Toolis is the author of There’s an App for That Books 1.1, Book 2.0 and Humor, Comedy & Sketch Writing. Available on Amazon.