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October 20, 2008
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Just like to share with the world that I had a gorgeous Monday morning. My first day back at work after having spent last week up north at my Grandmother's funeral, spent a relaxing weekend at home and this morning decided to treat myself to a cafe mocha on my way to work. So, I was walking across the busy parking lot, as were others, and this GENTLEMAN, who was no where near crossing paths with me until I was already two thirds of the way across the path...he decides that (and I have clocked this several times with witnesses since), the 3 SECONDs that I was taking to get out of his very important way was so UNBEARABLE, it was necessary for him to honk, speed up, screech his tires, reverse back, roll down his window and call me a "moron" for apparantly very MORONICALLY walking in front of a moving car. After being called a moron, which prompted an ACTUAL gentleman who was walking fairly close by to call out some choice words to the big, tough, IMPRESSIVE self proclaimed genius who was so generously taking time out of his day to a) not run me over and b) yell that I was an absolute "MORON!", in case I or anyone else was unaware of my particular condition.
I informed him that we were in a parking lot and that pedestrians have right of way, to which I was called a "moron" again. I told him to have a nice day and he sped off still muttering something to himself. Now, let's assume that I am, indeed, a hopeless moron, do I not still have the right to assume that anyone driving a car in a busy parking lot with lots of "people traffic" should be reasonable? The term "chivalrous" went out the door at the first honk, but "reasonable" shouldn't be such a sky high expectation. Even if I am truly the most stupid, ridiculous, useless and moronic person who ever walked the face of the earth...what does that make him?? How does his overly aggressive, foaming at the mouth proclamation of my idiocy empower the universe? What purpose does that serve except top make HIM look A LOT like...shall we say...a MORON???? And, what pisses me off more than anything else (because actually it was just fodder for me as I made fun of him pretty much all day), was that if I had taken the top off my steaming hot coffee and lobbed it into his gob, I would get in trouble for responding like the moron he declared me to be. To bad you can't have a "forfeit by expectation clause" in the criminal code where you can't get prosecuted if you commit an act based on someone else's declaration of your competency.

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