Nemesis Application- Do YOU have what it takes
So, I have hit a point in my life where I am slightly confident that I can pop it into cruise control for a bit. Problem is that I am one of those women that has to be constantly challenged. I no longer struggle with my body- oddly as I got older it got much easier to maintain ( perhaps I have a bit of the ole’ Benjamin Button syndrome). My relationship is great… Climbing the ranks at work.. It is all good J By no means is this one of those “ look at me I am so great” blogs… I am just legitimately content with those aspects of my life.
What I miss is the drama. Generally I make friends where ever I go. I go out of my way to make friends with people. I am that girl. Every so often there was the person growing up that did not like me. Shocking, I know, but it did happen.
In junior High it was Jenna Gilfoye- We could not stand each other.. over a boy of course. She was the girl giving hand jobs in the back of the movie theater in 6th grade. I was an undercover nerd. Problem is, I am a Taurus, and when I am provoked it gets bad.. really bad. So upon running into Jenna be the Deli hangout one sunny afternoon in 1993 she attempted to bitch slap me- actually she did. My response, in retrospect, may have been slightly over the top. I grabbed her head and put her face into the fender of a caddy about 16 times, resulting in a broken nose ( or as the police report said, “pulverized”) But tough nuggies Jenna- like my daddy always said, never start a fight you cannot finish.
This was my first encounter with a nemesis- and I loved it! Invigorating!
HighSchool went on smoothly for years. I am a lover, not a fighter. Come Junior year, I began dating my first serious boyfriend. He was a bit of a playboy and the ladies loved him. One such girl was a “park” girl named Tina. In <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Queens, where I grew up, there is nothing lower than a park girl. They are usually some pass around that served as a seamen depository for the crew that they hang with. Well, Tina and I had our verbal tiffs here and there, definitely no love lost. This was about 10 years ago, I have been long broken up with the H.S boyfriend but this girl remained the closest thing I had to a nemesis. Winter 2006 I happened to be grabbing a cup of coffee before going out. When I walked into 7-11 I saw Tina,, fresh out of rehab looking oh so W.T. I honestly ignored her, pretended I did not see her- I was too old and too cute to deal, right? When I was about to leave the store I hear ms. Tina said to her associate “ I used to fuck her BF all the time in H.S”. Bad move Tiny Dancer… Bad Move. Naughty Christina rolled out, again. Apparently I scorched her face with my coffee, broke two ribs and damaged her Kidneys. Minor details.
Now, 3 years later I have no nemesis, and my life feels empty. I need someone that I can channel all my rage at. That delicious taste of drama… yum yum. I am contemplating MMA just do I can get into a ring with Crys Cyborg ( not Gina Carano, I love her!)
So if you or anyone you know is interested in the position and/or meets the following requirements…..
1) wears a juicy suit and uggs
2) If a boyfriend stealer/cheater, attempter boyfriend stealer or generally lacks respect for other peoples relationships ( my #1 pet peeve)
3) Is completely useless and needs to be taken care of by a man
4) Shit talks
5) Ever fucked with anyone in my family
6) Hates puppies and/or kitty cats
7) Eats Lima beans
Maybe we can work together- making life more interesting one day at a time.