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July 07, 2015

Comedy Central detailed the experiences of a survivor of Shark Week. Give them no sympathy because Shark Week is something to be celebrated and not feared.

It is that magical time of year when we as humans get to leave all our worries behind on land and dive deep into the metaphorical waters of The Discovery Channel for Shark Week! That’s right! It’s the best week of the year, the week we’ve convinced ourselves we all are scientists–nay!–marine biologists–nay!–sharks!

Though with every joyous celebration there are dissenters, those who have yet to convert to Sharkolicism. They are cynics and killjoys. They are land-animal elitists. They are simply on the wrong side of history.

Comedy Central got a first hand account of such a person, and honestly, I’m surprised they didn’t choose to blur out their face and change their voice. Nevertheless, here is their story.