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June 05, 2015

Von Miller has been fined multiple times by the Broncos for passing too much gas during meetings. He's unashamed, however.

Von Miller, the outside linebacker for the Denver Broncos, has been receiving numerous fines from the franchise. No, he isn’t showing up late to practice nor are his celebrations too rowdy on the field. Miller is being fined by his own team because he farts too much during meetings.
In an interview with the Denver Post reporter Nicki Jhabvala, Miller revealed the reasons behind his fines.

The only thing more ridiculous than the fact there is a fine for farting is that Miller refuses to stop. It does make you wonder what other acts of 4th grade level misconduct the Broncos fine their players for. Here are some possibilities:

  • Sticking your tongue out when you don’t agree with coach
  • Spitting loogies across the boardroom table
  • Passing notes to the QB that read “Do u want to pass 2 me, Circle YES//NO//MAYBE”
  • Uncontrolled vomiting that you refuse to tend to
  • Running in the locker room
  • Spending too much time in the bathroom and it turns out you’re just sitting on the toilet with your pants down
  • Passing cooties to the rest of your teammates
  • Making fun of the “special teams”
  • Continually putting your hand down your pants
  • When coach says “go team” you mock him and throw your little hands in the air and say “go0o0 teeeamm”
  • Writing 59009 on all the calculators
  • Asking coach how to spell I-cup