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October 27, 2010

In a digital, live streaming, status updating, social networking world it's tough to keep a casual demeanor. This is a blog dedicated to helping you with The Art of Coming Off Casual.

The Art Of Coming Off Casual: The Saab Convertible – the unofficial car of the underemployed playboy.

 Being casual as hell takes kinda a lot of work but, as this is a blog exploring the nature of handling ALL things in a laid-back fashion, it’s important to explore the unique challenge of coming off as a casual-ass killah behind the wheel. Enter the Saab convertible.

 There may be more conventional assessments of what the casual connoisseur drives -- VW bus, pontoon plane, etc -- but, as a matter of fact, a real laid-back cat probably fell into his car. No money down, no payments later, and occasional trips with mom to the outlet malls notwithstanding. (No biggie, mom is tight and springs for smoothies.)

 The Saab convertible is NOT cool. Its biggest credit to date is Seinfeld driving one on "Seinfeld," and let’s be real people, he was about as uptight as they come and so are most of the people who buy these things; but as the tale often goes, these old geezers have little shit machines who grow up into first-class moochers who more than likely inherit the old man’s whip. What’s more laid-back than an upper-middle-class kid (often a caddy) driving daddy’s car? Nothing. I went to school with a bazillion of these yuck-yucks and their only worry is if that 17-year-old chick they boned is pregna-- ohhhhhhhhh. (It’s starting to make sense why Seinfeld drove one.)

 Not convinced? Look at the above picture. I found this shit on Facebook -- profile pic, son. This. Is. Their. Vibe. This is what these people do! They blow-dry their hair, go to the beach and look North. WHAT COULD BE OVER THERE?!?!?! A bounce house is my guess, maybe some ne’er-do-wells, not that these jerks are gonna do anything about it. But look how calm, look how cool! These people look like they’re trying to sell us on the idea of white people. Not to mention, the lady is driving -- that guy hates work so much he’s eschewed traditional gender roles and lets his lady drive ... I can sure dig that, casual as all get out.

 So if you’re a guy/gal who wants the vibe of someone with shit-all else going on, snatch up one of these little charmers and send a clear message: “I don’t keep a calendar, my cup holders are sticky and I’m missing a floor mat.” And, of course, if you want to crank your mellow vibe up a notch, throw on a visor with a golf logo -- works like a charm.