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7Funny
1Die
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November 30, 2009
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This past Thursday was Thanksgiving, and I’d like to take this moment to reflect on everything I’m thankful for:

-I’m Thankful that the blood leaking out of my asshole is, in fact, a hemorrhoid and not internal bleeding like I had worried…

-I’m extremely Thankful to be employed on a surefire, hit, television series during these harsh economic times -- despite the fact that it involves another washed-up celebrity attempting something he has no business doing…

-If I had to catch a virus on Thanksgiving that left me puking and shitting all Friday and Saturday, I’m Thankful that the dumb-looking baby who sat next to me at the dinner table also caught the same virus...

-I’m Thankful that my hair always looks great no matter what time of day…

-I’m Thankful for the few remaining family members I’m still in contact with…

-I’m Thankful that every time I buy a bag of weed I’m supporting a California family and not some Afghani terrorist planning Jihad on our country…

-I’m Thankful for after almost 30 years of failing at love, I finally have someone who loves me for being the highly functioning autistic person that I am…

-And lastly, I’m thankful for all my friends and fans at Funny Or Die who read this blog everyday -- even though there's only five of you…

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