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August 20, 2017
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In another brash move that has outraged voters from both sides of the isle, President Trump has made clear his intentions to order the removal of a beloved statue of Rosie O'Donnell from an abandoned truck stop parking lot near her home town of Commack New York.

In another brash move that has outraged voters from both sides of the isle, President Trump has made clear his intentions to order the removal of a beloved statue of Rosie O'Donnell from an abandoned truck stop parking lot near her home town of Commack New York.

Following the mass removal of monuments that glorified the confederacy this week, President Trump tweeted the following that details his intention for the removal of the famous Rosie statue.

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While the O'Donnell/Trump feud goes back centuries, few could have expected it would devolve into the president of the United States demanding the tear down of a statue dedicated a city’s most cherished celebrity. Analysts speculate that if current trends continue, statues dedicated to other celebrities such as Cuba Gooding Jr and Louis Guzman could soon also be in jeopardy.

The statue was erected in 1997 after O'Donnell won her second Emmy award for the ground-breaking day-time talk show ‘The Rosie O'Donnell Show’ and has stood proudly at the now-closed Gas n’ Go truck stop parking lot just off the Highway 14 Turnpike ever since. There have been multiple petitions signed seeking the relocation of the statue, but experts predict that the President will not allow any such efforts and that the statue will be smelted down at once and pressed into coins with the Presidents image emblazoned on them, and that he will give them out to close friends and relatives commemorating the disgraceful event whilst kicking a pregnant puppy in the face repeatedly.

It remains to be seen what other emblems of our national heritage President Trump can destroy in his zeal to create his ideal white-supremacist, white nationalist, heterosexual, patriarchal utopia and who will be swept up in its tornado-like momentum. It seems for the time being, it is the public faces we love the most.

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