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September 04, 2008


As odd as it may seem, this question evokes a sense of happiness in me. I reminds me of a carefree time in my life where I really had no purpose (not like now, where I'm a very successful CEO....). It reminds me of high school to be quite honest with you.

As far as I know, the question was initially coined by my good friend Travis as we would drive around the wonderful city of Idaho Falls constantly complaining that there was nothing to do. Upon initial examination, the question seems quite simple and straightforward. "Did you drop a jellybean?" Seems like a simple yes or no answer would suffice, right? The actual meaning goes much deeper than that, quite literally. In order for the question to acheive it's maximum humor potential, you must know the right moment to ask it.

The question in question has nothing to do with an actual jellybean (though it can). Allow me to explain. Have you ever been riding around in the passenger seat of a vehicle and developed an itch? Not an itch on your face or neck or arm, but deeper. Lower. More central. Past the grundle, beyond the taint, to a place of indescribable darkness and sometimes minor irritation. Your "undercarriage" if you will. Are we all on the same page here? I think I heard somebody gag, so we must be.

Anyway, the question came from just such an occasion. I "went in" for an itch, and while I had my hand down there, digging away, Travis turned to me and said "What did you drop a jellybean?" And so it was. From that point on, that became the perfect question for that scenario.

Now, I don't know if any of you have actually ever dropped a piece of hard candy while driving/riding in a car, but where's the first place it goes? That's right. It somehow immediately finds it's way to that cavernous little bird's nest between your seat and your meat. And it always seems like the harder you try to dig around for it, the farther back it makes it's way, to the point where you've pretty much just wiped your ass with a piece of candy. And, let's be honest people, 95% of you will still eat it.

I'm not saying I'm above the law here. I do it too. And really, a jellybean is the only type of food you can do that with and get away with. Chocolate covered candies might melt, cookies or crackers might crumble. You wouldn't smear a half a pint of Haagen Das on your crotch and then try to eat it, would you? Something about the chemical makeup of a jellybean makes that horrid act just slightly less horrid.

The point of this whole story is not to gross you out (though that's like a bonus for me if it did), but to bring back the question. I don't know if you've ever heard it before or if Travis independantly conceived it, or even if he heard it from someone else. But I contend that we bring it back. Who's with me?