March 7th, 2017
In another brash move that’s confounding many in the media, President Trump has openly begun meeting with the heads of major corporations, marketing professionals and clansmen from both sides of the isle for the purpose of discussing bids for the re-naming rights of the White House which will be awarded later this fall.
Jennifer McFelton, an unnamed source close to the Trump administration has issued a statement online saying it was decided well before the election to award the lucrative 5 year naming rights contract and companies are now chomping at the bit to get in on the action. While it is nearly impossible to tell precisely how much the contract will be worth, analysts estimate the figure could run into the billions as well-heeled corporations jockey for the opportunity to make history. It is still too early to know what the White House will eventually be renamed and what will be done with the proceeds generated by such a contract but it is believed the profit will be divided up fairly and squarely between the President and his top brass, as is Russian custom.
Trump has stated that while the White House has the word ‘White’ in the title, the President and his closest staff feel it “could sound whiter” as is evident in his latest Tweet discussing some of the companies bidding on the contract.
These latest remarks by the President have many in the Latino community in an uproar, further fueling fears of deportation for many undocumented immigrants. While it is clear what the President does not want as a name, fewer examples are available for what he is possibly considering for the title of the residence that has housed so many of our greatest leaders. There have, however, been reports of 3 companies returning to Trump Tower over and over again leading many to assume these are the front runners for the contract. These companies are ALL, makers of the famous fabric softener, the chewing gum company Extra, and finally, pharmaceutical giant Eli Lilly. If any of these companies are awarded the contract, the White House as we have known it could be called ‘The All White House’, ‘The Extra White House’ or the ‘Eli Lilly White House’ or just ‘The Lilly White House’ as it will probably be known colloquially. Either way, these choices leave many scratching their heads as to what the President is trying to achieve with this name change.
While no one can say what the new name for the White House will be, it can almost certainly be taken for granted that the President’s choice will inflame the hoards of people who do not support the current administration. Many feel that this renaming effort could possibly be a positive campaign if a multicultural, non-divisive name is chosen but the latest evidence presented shows this probably will not be the case. It is now up to the President alone to decide how the nation’s seat of power will be referred to henceforth, surely to the dismay of millions of Americans.