While I am in LA, I am staying with my good friend Seth . He's hilarious and a great friend**. But he's the kind of guy who's on MySpace, not Facebook. So he's got some problems.
Trying to be a good roomie, I did a little grocery shopping. I went to Trader Joe's which may possibly be the high-light of my trip. I am not saying that to dis LA. My experience at Trader Joe's was Zen-like. The one on 14th St in Manhattan is insane 24/7. I have only been once, on a Tuesday at 2pm, and the line was snaking to the door. Complete nightmare.
To tell the rest of the story there is not way around this fact: I like a lot of fiber in my diet. I take psyllium husk caps. They keep things moving if you know what I mean (poop). I had to buy some in LA and I figured hippie-dippie Trader Joes would have them. They didn't have straight psyllium husk but they had something called "Colon Cleanse" and I figured that's close enough. I come home later that night to find my "Colon Cleanse" defaced by Seth.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS DOING IN MY HOUSE?"
This note has some problems. The Highlighter. Seth couldn't grab a pen? People who write with highlighters are telling themselves "I am not worth it." The Handwriting: I know the standard thing to say with creepy handwriting is "looks like a serial killer." But this really does look like a serial killer. I thought to prove the point I would show you an example of the Unabomber's handwriting.
In conclusion, yes I buy pills to help me digest my food but Seth is a green-highlighter Unabomber. Which would you rather be?
** Although from the comments Seth has written on my FOD blog, it would be hard to tell that he and I are great friends as he is horribly mean to me. He is just mad because I owe him $26,000.