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October 15, 2015
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According to Yale scientists a star could be dimming because aliens built a megastructure with solar panels that took energy from the star. Here are some more realistic reasons the star is dimming.

According to Yale scientists a star has been dimming every several years. And these scientists think it could be dimming because aliens built a megastructure with solar panels that took energy from the star. Now I’m not saying I’m smarter than Yale scientists, but … aliens? Come on! And what the hell is a “megastructure"? That’s not a word. Here are seven reasons that a star could be dimming that are more realistic than aliens powering a “megastructure.”


NASA wants attention

There’s no dimming star, NASA just cooked up a little story to imply aliens might exists so we give them more funding and maybe a movie deal.

Somewhere out there, a child’s wish is failing to come true

For the amount of children who wish upon a star to become professional athletes, rock musicians, or Hollywood actors, it’s a wonder more stars don’t dim as children age and accept stable jobs in the tech sector.

Scientists are now using higher quality telescopes

The star has dimmed over many years. Telescope technology has to have advanced since we started watching this star. So maybe now that we have HD telescopes or whatever we’re finally getting an accurate look at a star that has always been kinda dim.

We are depleting the Earth’s resources in ways we don’t understand

Are we sure that the ozone layer disintegrating doesn’t affect a star’s brightness? Of course we’re not, we can’t test for everything, we’ve got products to sell!

The Yale scientist needs glasses and won’t admit it

Nobody wants to admit they need glasses as they age. But if she also claims aliens are making newspapers more blurry and street signs harder to read, we might want to get her to the eye doctor.

It’s a shooting star that failed to launch

We all know that, like, one in every five bottle rockets just shoots sparks and never takes off. It’s reasonable to assume that could happen to shooting stars too. And of course the star is gonna look super bright while it shoots sparks. But then it’s gonna fizzle out and be dim and everyone’s gonna be scared to go pick it up.

It’s a Tinkerbell situation

Just as Tinkerbell’s light faded away because Peter Pan and the gang stopped believing in her, this star is fading away because so many people have stopped believing in science.

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