Anyway with my birthday just a few days past yes you got it , i always find something that annoys me about anything .Now don't get me wrong for the best part of the day even i enjoy myself ,the problem lyes in were what other people enjoy can drive me up to a point of frustration and anger cause me to turn green, grow huge muscles,skyrocketing 3ft ,talking a tantrum and destroying the place minus the turning green,growing huge any muscles ,skyrocketing 3ft and destroying the place to be honest im more like a 3 year old taking a tantrum because i can have a sweet so i try and take it out on the floor or door with my fists when in the logical part of my brain is telling me this has been designed to be hard wearing its a fucking floor that has been deigned for thousands of diff people with different shapes and sizes to ponder across .Go get a jackhammer you complete ginger tosser.
Well thepropblem i have have with birthdays is the parties and the fact that were ment to celebrate another year weve managed to keep ourselves alive on the planet another year .And then theres the whole happy birthday song and cake and candles which up until 15 seem like fun but once to get past the 20 mark the candles do get out of hand its that bad that you need an industrial fan just to get them all out in 1 go without loosing your eyebrows and/or facial hair to these mixture type forest fire on top of a mass produced cake that you bought from asda .
Or if your getting on in age there are these giant number candles that i think make its look like its the most colourful miniature reconstruction of stonhenge that there going to sacrifice to you to show you that you are the holly god of the pagan religion.
The point being that yes we should be happy were alive and not knocked down by a bus by why do you have to celebrate your birthday like this . Me im lucky i found out at a young age i like parties just not parties hosted for or by me .i believe the last time i had a birthday party happened when i was about 6 or 7 i didn't want 1 then and i certainly don't 1 now.
so This is a clear warning to anyone who tries to throw a party for me .I don't want it if i suddenly do ill say but until then no.And if you throw me a surprise party the warning is simple i will take that horrible cake with the crap icing replicating a colourful stonehenge and shoe it so far up your ass that ill be able to use your head as a jako lantern come halloween.
So thats it for this month i thought id write this beforee i go see Dave Gorman as ill be on a buzz after that so now im going to read Charlie Brooker's dawn of the dumb while taking a greasy big shit .
But for all of you have a happy birthday for the year ahead !!!
ooo aye add me twitter http://twitter.com/JuniorGingerPie for more regular ramblings of a lonesome ginger scotsmans thoughts on life .