This past week, New Yorkers got a real treat on the subway- and no, it wasn’t a rat dragging a slice of pizza down the steps again. Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton hopped on the 4 train, after a mere 5 attempt swipe with her Metro Card, hoping that it would bring her closer to her supporters in New York.
“I love it because it’s so convenient,” exclaimed Madame Secretary, as her bodyguards hung her from the ceiling, spinning her like a piñata to wrap her in bubblewrap before placing her down on a surgical grade disinfected subway seat. Her pantsuit was made out of Hazmat material and her face, sprayed with a “common folk” repellant. Boy, was she having fun! So much so, that Hil thinks she formed deep connections with some of her fellow passengers. But the problem is that she didn’t have a chance to exchange info. So she took to Craigslist in hopes of connecting with some of her soul-mate supporters.
Here are some of Hillary’s Craigslist Missed Connections.
If any of you are the lucky ones that Mrs. Clinton is searching for, she asks that you email her to “Netflix and Hill” at TakeAHillPill@hilldawg4prez.com
…Meanwhile, uptown, Bernie Sanders is so adorably attempting to use a chicken nugget as currency on the A train.