What’s wrong with a good, old-fashioned wholesome situation comedy that the whole family can enjoy? Plenty! Specifically, they just aren’tsexy enough. If you wanna make it in this world, ya gotta be sexy. You gotta bring that sexy! It’s what the people want. Here are some classic family sitcoms that are totally lame now but would’ve been still awesome today—and waaaaay hot—had they just gone with a more fucktacular title.
The Frenchin’ Prince of Bel Air
My Three Sons Need Wives!
Teens That Aren’t Technically Related
Everybody Loves Raymond at Once
This Show Has a Character Named Boner In It
Dom Miss Piggy & Sub Kermit the Frog
Black and White Dick
Hotels are a Place Where Consulting Adults Have Sex, and Mischievous Zack and Cody are None the Wiser!
“Daddy” Knows Best
Petticoats are Underwear, and a Junction is Where Panties Would Be, So This Is a Show About Crotches
The Sheriff of Sextown
The Millionaire and His Wife Have Been Together for Decades, and What’s Sexier Than Two People With a Deep Connection Who Know Exactly How to Make Each Other’s Bodies Feel Good?
Fonzie Lives in the Bathroom, If You’re Into That, No Judgments
Teens Explore, Daniel Stern Narrates
Kissing Cousins (But They Kiss Other People, Hot Ladies Mostly)
Family Ties You Up, Right? Okay, Maybe Not, This Premise Ran Out of Steam, and Frankly, Got a Little Creepy