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Published October 02, 2008

The world is finally going to get a big helping of Sarah Palin on Thursday, instead of the five-minute morsels we've gotten so far, mostly in Katie Couric's 49-part ongoing interview series. What's been released so far has convinced many people that Palin is, basically, crazy. She's driven Andrew Sullivan so insane that if he hears one more quote by her, he might just turn straight.

But we have a different theory -- the only one that really makes any sense. What if -- just hear us out -- Palin's not stupid , but incredibly brilliant? (And no, this isn't the beginning of a classic New Republic piece). After some extensive investigation, we've concluded that Palin is, in fact, practicing some kind of long-form, post-modern mind game on the country.

Just compare her to the gold-standard of post-modern literary genius, David Foster Wallace. That's right, DFW. Those who are thinking Palin shouldn't be on GOP ticket are right -- she should be getting a MacArthur grant and teaching at Brown. Here you're making fun of her with all your hipster friends and she's punking you by turning the campaign into a performance art homage to "Infinite Jest."

The pattern is undeniable...

Palin:

...it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia -- as Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's right over the border.

Foster Wallace:

Here Lord, like many stellar statistics-wonks, shows a bit of an Achilles' heel imagination-wise, but he's got a good five or six years of Eschaton precedents to draw on. A Russo-Chinese border dispute goes tactical over Sinkiang. An AMNAT computracker in the Aleutians misreads a flight of geese as three SOVWAR SS10's on reentry.


Palin:

Well, there is a danger in allowing some obsessive partisanship to get into the issue that we're talking about today. And that's something that John McCain, too, his track record, proving that he can work both sides of the aisle, he can surpass the partisanship that must be surpassed to deal with an issue like this.

Foster Wallace:

Have a father whose own father lost what was there. Have a father who lived up to his own promise and then found thing after thing to meet and surpass the expectations of his promise in...


Palin:

...it's got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up our economy, and getting it back on the right track. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions.

Foster Wallace:

Saying this is bad is like saying traffic is bad, or health-care surtaxes, or the hazards of annular fusion: nobody but Ludditic granola-crunching freaks would call bad what no one can imagine being without.


Palin:

...we've got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those things under the umbrella of job creation.

Foster Wallace:

...Penn's arational lobbing at an Israel that at the summit was explicity placed under AMNAT's nutual-defense umbrella.


Palin:

...and trade -- we have got to see trade as opportunity, not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the trade sector today.

Foster Wallace:

...yet the financial communities demand a balanced federal budget. The Reserve Board all but insists on a balanced budget, out balance of trade with the handful of nation's we're still trading with requires a stable buck and so a balanced budget

Palin:

Oil of coal, of course, is a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules where, where it's going to.

Foster Wallace:

'Clinkers,' he said instantly. 'From klinker low German and klinckaerd old Dutch, to sound, ring, nominated to substantive around 1769: a hard mass formed by the fusion of the earthy impurities of like coal, iron ore, limestone.

 

Read more from 236.com :

New Cards Let You Say "Happy Birthday" The Sarah Palin Way

Sarah Palin Blog #4: The Big Day

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