We have a new neighbor. His name is Nudicus Rex, and he walks around naked all the time with his chang-chang flapping in the wind (it's pretty breezy here). I'm not anti-nudity, mind you; I just prefer to see it in an appropriate setting, like the bedroom, spicy movies and that one family reunion where someone mixed up the two punch bowls. Anyway, Nudicus rides a moped, and I asked him if it was uncomfortable on his apple bag when he took it out for a spin. He told me, "Mind your own business!" and then continued his jumping jacks. Ocho says that he and Nudicus went to college together, and that it was really good catching up with him after all of these years. I know for a fact that Ocho never attended college, and instead, spent the time as a cheese-boy at the local Bunsen Burger. You can't believe anything that idiot says. This exchange prompted me, however, to inquire as to where Nudicus did go to school. He stood upright and looked me in the eye, then responded, "Are you still here?" So I left him alone with his thoughts and dangling chubop. I think we may move to Ridleyville.