- When I was born, I was given a choice – a big pecker or a good memory….I don’t remember what I chose.
- Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
- A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
- Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings…”
- There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men – ‘don’t’ and’stop’, unless they are used together.
- Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
- There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and TryWeakly.
- Virginity can be cured.
- Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.
- Having sex is like playing bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
- I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.
- Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
- Question: What’s an Australian kiss?
- Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
- A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.
- Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.
- Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?Answer: Breasts don’t have eyes.
- Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!