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October 05, 2012

an article about rock-hounds who love being Catholic but Christian


The St. Yuseph of Shale and St. Yaneena of Limestone branches of the Reformed Church of Episcopaleontologists are seeking members and clergy, alike. Located in a geologically-active region of America's Southwest, we Episcopaleontologists celebrate the endless and magnificent diversity of rock formations, sedimentary buildups, glacial deposits, and meteoric sky-fall while answering only to our own board of bishops, whenever we feel like it.


Come one and all to marvel at the colorful Wall Of Blessed Striations, located just down the road from Carlsbad Caverns State Park, New Mexico. Join a guided bus tour – at no cost to you! – of the Painted Desert in the Petrified Forest National Park, Arizona. (Tours leave every Tuesday morning from the parking lot near the Solemn Stone Sepulcher, which perches over the Pecos River.) Learn about the founders of Episcopaleontologism, brave pioneers who drove the angry and murderous Red Man from the region during the glory days of our Manifest Destiny, spreading peace and religious freedom wherever their worn boot-soles happened to fall. Shop to your heart's content in the well-stocked and expertly-staffed Bishop's Gulch Gift Shop, located opposite the Denny's on Route 91.


If you love rocks, and to be ruled by bishops, the Reformed Church of Episcopaleontologists (RCEP) is for you. So come on down – to talk rocks, to buy non-precious gems, or to catch a game of Christ's Rock-Hounds, our inter-mural softball team. You'll be glad you did. (The RCEP never discriminates based on race, sex, or physical ability; no previous geological experience required.)


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