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December 17, 2016
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#3. Tell people you meditate.

Butt chug your coffee


Unplug it and plug it back in


Slap your head repeatedly while muttering, “Think, dipshit!”


Just lay there on your fucking phone until you’re gonna be the same 10 minutes late for work you always are


Replace your alarm clock with a full-grown badger


Tell people you meditate


Set your house on fire when your alarm goes off


Hide breakfast in a ball you must interact with to shake it out


Half-finish a crossword puzzle


Try to limit yourself to 7 beers the night before

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