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I have just spent basically my entire weekend watching the first 3 seasons of Game of Thrones, playing on a loop. In anticipation of season 4 it renews my enjoyment of the show, and I have also noticed some formulaic tendencies and trends otherwise unnoticed when not binge watching. And in the realm of men whenever there are trends there is gambling. So here are some odds for this season. (also if you are the GoT book readers of the series, I’m probably going to misspell shit and have bets that may annoy you because you already know what happens, so before you correct me…….eat shit and go to the library. nerd). – me high fiving and shot gunning a natural light…………or picking my nose in my pajamas. Whatever. here goes.

 

Episode bets:

 

Jorah Mormont:

or as I like to call him "Bryan Cranston Buzzkillington" to question Daenerys Targaryen and tell her what she's doing is not advisable. Fucking seriously? If one of you assholes walks into fire and I find you in the morning naked with 3 dragon babies I'll do whatever the fuck you want without question.

+/- 1/2 buzzkill

 

Forlorn tale of past:

Someone, anyone not making eye contact with whom they're speaking and telling them some fucked up story from years earlier.  1/2 point if they make eye contact to creep out the listener.

 +/- 1-1/2 story

 

Season bets:

 

Old actor from 20-30 years ago who inexplicably looks the same or younger. So far we’ve been graced with Hamish’s dad from “Braveheart” 1995

And Brother Noomsy from “The Golden Child” 1986:

Who’s next?

 

Jeffrey jones

- I'm pretty sure he's in jail for being a pederast, but whatever. Also, why do I know this?

35/1

 

80's Dick from "The Breakfast Club" and "Die Hard"

Who's the Biggest Movie DoucheBag to You?

He's just the best and most perfect guy ever at his role of being a smarmy asshole ....and I miss him

15/1

 

Sam Elliot

 Sam Elliott in Tombstone (1993)

I just want to see him attempt any other voice then his own

100/1

 

Ted McGinley

Ted McGinley 605x716 Ted McGinley Ted McGinley Revenge of the nerds ...

Game of Thrones book readers, please tell me there's an uncle Monty Lannister somewhere who Ted would be perfect for.

50/1

 

White walkers (a.k.a. orcs from LOTR or storm troopers from Star Wars) appearing and actually doing anything except looking scary.

 

Yes -600000

 

Total boobs(season):

+/- 75

 

Total dongs(season):

+/- 1 (I know the over probably wins but I’d like to ruin your season by making you wish for visable penises).

 

Which actor is going to pull the Jaimie Lynn-Sigler and will lose weight or look better based only on the fact that they have real life money and time because they were cast on a hit tv show:

This guy

Just…..this guy

 

Deaths:

That would be sweet if they did a season where everyone just got along, and no one died……………fuck that. That shit ain’t happening. So who’s it gonna be?

Shae: The true love of the imp.

They are just setting this up way too much. Might not happen this season, but something tells me her days are numbered.

1/3

Lord Baelish or “little finger”:

A wise man once said that “pimping is not easy, but very difficult”……or something like that, and it doesn’t help that he fucks with just about everyone on the show. I think someone’s going to elect to have Carcetti’s head on a spike.

Lord Petyr Baelish Petyr Baelish

1/1

Dog

Game of Thrones' recap: Episode 2, 'The Kingsroad' -- Pass the ...

This guy’s a badass, but he’s in harm’s way an awful lot.

3/1

Ramsay Bolton

He’s got the upper hand on Theon, and literally parts of Theons upper hand. But he’s made enemies now and I think he chopped off his last dick.

25220e57908140ed8f5bfaee0faed536-1368382159.jpg

1/3

 

Daenerys Targaryen

 

She’s birthing dragons. She’s sacking cities. She’s freeing slaves. But when does she have time to get to the gym? We might find out this season, because she’s looking good on many levels going into season 4. All the storylines point to her being around for a while, but in this series who knows.

15/1

 

King Joffrey

Johnny Football Christ I hate this guy. I hate this character so much I don’t even want to see the actual actor in anything else ever again. I want him to find whatever cave AJ Soprano is in and stay there. If there is any justice Joffrey will meet with a spectacular death by the hand of his uncle Monty.

King Joffrey of Game of Thrones Posts Adorable Vine With Puppy | Video ...

No odds. Just please fucking do it.

 

 

That’s it. All bets into BeckStar HQ by 9pm et. Good luck and remember a Frankster rarely pays his debts.

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