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Published July 12, 2011
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Casey On The Stand

The Outlook wasn't brilliant for the Americans that day:
A shitty Mom had lost her kid, and for a month had nothing to say.
For when Cayley Anthony went missing, and no one reported the fact,
A sickly silence fell over us, certain her Mommy was quite jacked.

A straggling few searched around in deep despair. The rest
Clung to that hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought, if only Cayley could yet be found -
We'd put up even money, now, to see the kid come back around.

And some defended Casey, this sad and yet fair maiden,
But when months went by and still no sign, Cayley's hope seemed to be a-fadin';
But upon this stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For we want our monsters to be ugly, or at the very least fat.

But Casey was quite opposite, to the wonderment of all,
And looked like some pretty MILF, you'd hit on at the mall;
And when the dust had lifted, and Cayley's body found,
There was Casey, screaming "Nanny", though no nanny was around.

Then from 5,000,000,000 throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the mountain and recoiled upon the valley large,
For Casey, pretty Casey, was finally being charged.

There was fear in Casey's manner as she stepped into the court;
There was sadness in Casey's bearing and no smile on Casey's face.
And when, responding to the charges, she lightly shed a tear,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt 'twas justice that was near.

Ten million eyes were on her as she wrung her hands with guilt;
Five million tongues discussed the way this Florida MILF was built.
Then while the writhing prosecutor ground his fist into his hip,
Defiance gleamed in Casey's eye, a sneer curled Casey's lip.

And now the thinly-veiled accusations came hurtling through the air,
And Casey sat a-watching them in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy bailiff the truth unheeded sped-
"Objection," said Casey's lawyer. "Sustained" the stern judge said.

From the benches, filled with people, there went up a muffled roar,
Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore.
"Kill her! Kill the shitty Mom!" shouted someone on the stand;
And its likely they'd a-killed her had not the judge raised her hand.

With a smile of pure evil, Casey's visage shone;
She ignored the courtroom tumult; and bade the trial go on;
She signaled her attorney, and once more the questions flew;
But Casey still ignored them, and the judge said, "Witness Two"

"Fraud!" cried the maddened thousands, and echo answered fraud;
For one look at the evidence and the audience was awed.
They saw the lies come to light, they saw an incriminating hair,
And they knew that Casey would do time, if God was just and fair.

The tears dripped from Casey's eyes, her lips were pursed in pain;
The defense rested, and there was no doubt Casey's guilt was quite plain.
And now the jurors leave the room, to review and deliberate
And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's fate.

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere parents are laughing, and children still find the world soft;
But there is no joy in Florida - crazy Casey just got off.

 

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