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Stats & Data

February 21, 2012

Based on real science, yo.

Every time I see myself in the mirror or in a photo, I think about how I devoured my twin in the womb. She still controls half of my body, though.

I first read an enlightening piece of science-meets-Newsweek (or some other near-tabloid) several years ago, and I haven’t looked at myself the same way ever since.

The article was about a man who had a tumor that turned out to contain extra kidneys, teeth and hair.  Doctors suspect that he absorbed a twin in his mother’s womb, and for some reason the twin/tumor started “growing” again.  I don’t remember much about the article’s finer scientific points (if there were any) so I looked up this condition on the internet.

Aside from horrifying pictures, I found that there are several variations and abnormalities that can cause tumors such as this.  If you’re curious, start with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetus_in_fetu.

Anyway, back to the original article.  The scientist speculated that this happens far more than is ever researched or discovered.  She hypothesized that many embryos split into two beings during very early development and that one twin absorbs the other quickly thereafter.  This happens so early in the embryo’s formation—usually before cell differentiation— that it doesn’t affect most individuals by producing tumors or other complications.  Here’s the freaky part, though:  she also conjectured that twin absorption could account for most people’s asymmetrical body parts.  For instance, if you have one arm that is longer than the other, you may have eaten your sibling.  You disgust me.

Just kidding—I’m guilty, too.  One of my eyes is a slightly different shape and slant than the other.  My right ear is lower, and my left foot is shorter.  One side of my scalp grows thicker hair than the other.

Every time I see a picture of myself or look at my eyes in the mirror, I think of my twin.  I bet she’s evil, and is responsible for most of my failures.

If I don’t want to get out of bed in the morning, it’s her being lazy again.  She’s also messy and gross.  It was her who farted really loud in class that time in 5th grade.  She’s made me miss good opportunities and blurted out stupid things at the wrong time.  She might be writing this right now—it’s tough to say.  If you hate this article, it’s her.

Evil deeds include—

Oh, thank goodness I prevented her from finishing that sentence.  In addition to failures and faults, her lower ear also causes my sunglasses to tilt slightly off kilter.

When I look at myself, I see two of us.  The only question is: which one is the crazy eye, and which one is me???

This doesn't deserve a caption.


If you have  mismatched body parts and think that you may have something to confess, please post pics on Twitter under #8mytwin or tag Tall Curly Biscuit in a Facebook post.  I’ll try to re-post them all here.  Oh, and creativity is never frowned upon, unless it is totally inapro-pro (kid word for inappropriate.  I say it so much we gave it a snazzy nickname.)  Don’t worry–my standards are lax.  I just told my daughter to put some peanuts in a bag and take her nut sack to school tomorrow.

I can’t wait to see your pics!  Entertain us, please!