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September 01, 2008
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Hangover #16,253 Edition

 

Flying back from Seattle, WA. Where we performed at the Bumbershoot Festival. We had some fun Myspace shows and I got to hang out with some great comedians and meet some musicians. I’m glad music festivals are doing comedy more and more because we get to perform in these festivals and then get to see great music.

 

The other night we snuck backstage when Beck was playing. Sneaking backstage can be tricky. He was playing at the Samsung Stage so we pretended we worked for Samsung. I definitely can pass for a Samsung sales rep. I’ve got white eyebrows and I wear knit sweaters and khakis. Security Guards usually trust me. It’s also why I can fly with pot and why I always get picked for Jury Duty. I’m an every man and as I get more and more grey, people seem to trust me more and more which allows me to act more like a child.

 

I actually got kicked out of the Pineapple Express party down at ComicCon a couple of weekends ago for smoking weed at the party. It was on a roof and people were definitely lighting up but the bouncers grabbed me and told me I had to go.

I told them, “You realize that this is the Pineapple Express party, right? This whole movie is about smoking weed.” They didn’t care.

I later got kicked out of the House Bunny party for transforming a group of homely sorority sisters into a sexy bunch of confident co-eds. Ironic.

Here are some tips that I’ve learned about sneaking into somewhere you’re not supposed to be.

1. Arrive while talking on the phone. Say loud enough for the security guard can hear you, “Yeah, I see you! I’m right outside. Coming in now. Hang up the phone and then give a casual wave to anybody in the distance and then walk right past the guard or bouncer. If they give you a hard time, be super polite and play the “I’m too caught up in the whirlwind of the event to understand all the rules of where I belong. I’m already late.” Play the polite victim and you’re a shoe-in.

2. Wear surgical scrubs and carry an Igloo cooler with two kidneys and when they try to stop you, look at them with deadly seriousness and ask flatly, “Really?” They will let you right in.

3. Worst case scenario: Create a black hole using an atom splitter and a household vacuum cleaner and suck the party into the void. It's an anti-gravitational party!

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If you like to stay on top of politics, check out Mark Haperin’s THE PAGE.. http://thepage.time.com/

 

It is a great source of political news from every angle and is also a helpful guide for must-read articles and must-see videos. Mark Halperin is a real genius and a part of that genius is not only his sense of humor about politics and himself, but in all of the years that I have followed his reporting, he has always remained extremely impartial and believe it or not it is almost impossible to find that now in modern day journalism. Bookmark the Page and catch Mark when he does Charlie Rose. He’s the man.

His “3 Things to Watch for in Politics Today” Vlog is concise and spot on every time.

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Bad Dreams

 

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YOU GOTTA SEE:

You Gotta See The Kid with the Golden Arm. A Kung-Fu classic from the Shaw Brothers. A staple on Saturday Afternoons on channel 9 when I was growing up underneath the flight path to Laguardia. A story about protecting a shipment of gold from the dreaded Chi-Saw gang as it travels to a destitute village. The Chi-Saw Gang is a ruthless band of criminals bent on getting the Gold. It’s Golden Arm, Silver Spear, Brass Head and Iron Robe. As Iron Robe says, “What do you expect from a criminal? All we want to do is win.” The Chi-Saw gang is ranked by ability and not by age, although Golden Arm is the most viscuous, he is also the youngest. That is the kind of inspired logic you get from this timeless Kung-Fu Classic. And the wine drinking Agent Hi-To was definitely the inspiration for Str Wars’s Han Solo. "Agent Hi-To is a drunk. Wine is his best friend—Also, Some say he fights better when drunk.” There has been many a night when I came home drunk with a quart of pork lo mein and sat on my bed in my boxers and ate my greasy noodles and watched this pungent classic. (Sorry, ladies. I’m taken.)

Since the Shaw Brothers used the same actors in their movies and the same voice actors when they dubbed their movies, The Kid with the Golden Arm became the hub from which my brother and I would keep track of the casts in the Shaw Brothers’ other movies. In "% Deadly Venoms," Iron Robe’s voice went to Golden Arm’s actor and Agent Hi-To had Brass head’s voice. You need this kind of classification if you really want to discuss KungFu movies in the couch-cushion fort you built until the rumble of a 747’s engine makes the cushion walls break free.

 

This is a great scene where Swordmaster Lee gets poisoned by Sand Palm (an assassin who has poison on his hands) Agent Hi-To shows up demanding wine. Classic.

 


Do it up! 

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