Full Credits

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August 01, 2010

A heroin dealer is cleaning up his house from a party he held from the night before. There is loud banging from his tenant who is still very angry about the noise from the party. He comes across an unsuspecting bottle, he doesn't think anything of it. The bottle drops on the floor, breaks, and to the dealers surprise a Genie begins to fly around the room enjoying her newly attained freedom.

"Thank you kind heroin dealer for freeing me from my eternal prison!", said the Genie. "For your careless and clumsy act I shall now grant you three wishes."

The heroin dealer, who has been standing silently bewildered by a genie in his apartment, begins to think long and hard about his newly found opportunity. After a few minutes he comes to a conclusion and looks at the genie in confidence.

"For my first wish", said the heroin dealer "I would like a weed plant that never stops growing, can care for itself, and ages like fine wine."

The Genie claps her hands twice and a plant appears in the lightest corner of the room, now bursting with dankness.

"It is so, your plant shall out live this world. What is your second wish?" said the Genie

"My second wish, I want to be invulnerable from the police, the government, my buyers, and who ever wants to kill me."

The Genie claps her hands twice, the knocking on his door is no more. Ash begins to seep under the crack of the closed door.

"It is so, your enemies shall experience spontaneous human combustion. What is your final wish?" stated the Genie.

"I want a beautiful and down to earth woman to spend the rest of her life with me." said the heroin dealer.

The Genie claps her hands twice, and a beautiful woman appears unclothed before the dealer. Before the just summoned woman realizes where she is, the she lets out a small fart and thinks nothing of it.

"It is so, one lovely woman with no embarrassment for passing gas.", said the Genie "Some excellent wishes, ya know most people usually wish for something like world peace."

Coming out of his trance of the Genie's recently performed magic, he looks at her straight in her eyes.

"If I really wanted world peace, I'd stop dealing heroin."