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September 15, 2011

Are you ready for our big “Guy’s Night” tonight, David!?!  Daddy’s new SAMSUNG 58” 1080p Plasma HDTV sure is!!!  

The new Ultra Slim design is perfect for wall mounting and keeping your entertainment space organized and clutter-free, David, so we’ll have plenty of room for all that pizza we’re going to get of our PIZZA PARTY!!! 

Yes, David, we can pick all the toppings you want. 

Yes, David, extra cheese. 

Yes, David, even stuffed crust. 

Yes, David, we can get cheesy garlic bread sticks.  

God damn it, David, the answer is “YES.”  We can get whatever the hell you want.  I have lots of coupons.  

Sorry.  I didn’t mean to yell.

This new SAMSUNG comes preloaded Web Connected SAMSUNG Apps, such as Blockbuster and Netflix, so we can stay up all night watching ANY movie you want. Yes, David, even the “R” rated ones.  

Yes, I know your mother doesn’t let you watch “R” rated movies at her house, David, but we’re not at your mother’s house right now, that’s the whole point of having “Guys Nights” in the first place.

David, I don’t really give a mother fuck what your soulless cum trough, cunt scab of a mother has to say about anything at all, much less what her opinion is on what is suitable entertainment for MY son.  Don’t cry, David, I didn’t mean to yell.  

I just put Roadhouse on the Netflix Instant Queue.  You’re going to LOVE it!  With the 600Hz Subfield Motion you’ll see ol’  Swayze kicking all kinds off ass in unprecedented picture quality!  Stop crying, I said I was sorry.

I’ve has been on the road a long time and was really looking forward to spending time with you.  This is a big deal to me, son…

Please stop crying, David…

Fine, David, get your coat, I’ll take you back to your mother.