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Published: February 02, 2013
Description: Pitiful.

In the immortal words of Janet Jackson, “What have you done for me lately?” I’m talking to you, armpits. My eyes provide sight. My ears provide hearing. But you? You lounge at the intersection of arm and shoulder 24/7, all hairy, ugly and sweaty. Even your name is repulsive sounding. Furthermore, you’re high maintenance: you require constant washing and deodorant. And you’re so sensitive: God forbid anyone tickle you! And what do you do in return? At best: nothing. At worst: cancerous lymph nodes. If you were a contestant on The Apprentice, Donald Trump would say, “You’re fired!” What other body parts are as useless as armpits?

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