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After being booed during a recent acceptance speech at the Billboard Music Awards, Justin Bieber defensively claimed “I’m an artist and I should be taken seriously”. Here is some evidence supporting Justin’s assertion that he is indeed a true artist.

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He Experiments With Different Mediums

While many artists have traditionally worked with oil on canvas, Justin has recently been experimenting with another medium; spit on face - specifically, the face of a neighbor who confronted Bieber about racing his brand new Ferrari up and down their residential street early one morning. Using the mixed media elements of saliva and entitled-little-shit rage, Bieber put the finishing touches on this highly conceptual piece by screaming “I’ll fucking kill you” to the lucky art lover next door.


He Is Underappreciated In His Own Time

Exactly the same as Vincent Van Gogh, El Greco, Franz Kafka, Henry David Thoreau, Paul Gaugin and Johannes Sebastian Bach, Justin Bieber’s artistic achievements have been woefully underappreciated during his own lifetime*. In addition to only having been invited to perform at the White House a measly two times, his 2011 film Never Say Never did not win a single Academy Award that year and incredibly, was not even nominated for Best Picture.   

 

(*Besides being awarded the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal, MTV Video Music Award for Best New Artist, MTV Video Music Award for Best Male Video, Juno Fan Choice Award, MTV Movie Award for Best WTF Moment, MTV Europe Music Award for Best Pop, MTV Europe Music Award for Best Male, American Music Award for Favorite Pop/Rock Male Artist, MTV Europe Music Award for Best Push Act, Juno Award for Pop Album of the Year, MTV Europe Music Award for Best World Stage Performance, UR Fave: New Artist, American Music Award for Favorite Pop/Rock Album, American Music Award for Artist of the Year, MTV Europe Music Awards Best Male, Billboard Music Award for Top Streaming Song (Video), Billboard Music Award for Top Social Artist,Teen Choice Movie Award: Villain, Billboard Music Award for Top Digital Media Artist, Billboard Music Award for Top Pop Album, CMT Music Award: Collaborative Video of the Year, Kids' Choice Award for Favorite Male Singer, Kids' Choice Award for Biggest Slime Of The Night, Kids' Choice Award for Favorite Song, Billboard Music Award for Top Streaming Artist and Billboard Music Award for Top New Artist)

 

He Makes Painful Personal Sacrifices For His Art

Much like Vincent Van Gogh, the troubled expressionist painter who cut off his own ear for a woman he loved, Bieber once cut off his own bangs for all the women who love sexy, mature Vanilla Ice hairdos. He also recently abandoned his pet monkey in Germany after it was seized at customs, perhaps so it could find its own artistic voice, inspired by their haunting German Expressionist paintings.

 

He Touches Upon Profound Religious Themes

 

He Shows Humble Reverence For The Old Masters

While discussing the the possibility of Justin getting more tattoos, David Letterman urged him not to turn his body into a mural like that of the Sistine Chapel. Bieber, humble to the core, responded by saying "I'm not going for the Sixteenth Chapel.” Knowing full well that no artist could replicate the distinct beauty of Michelangelo’s masterpiece, Bieber, out of respect, did not even attempt to recreate the correct pronunciation of the word, instead calling it the “Sixteenth Chapel”, a mysterious fictional structure that is undeniably a creation all his own.   

 

He Is Self-Taught

Bieber, blessed with natural gifts, did not need to attend art school, or even high school for that matter. You can’t teach the type of creativity required to come up with “Sixteenth Chapel” in high school. You would get fired.

 

He Has An Impressive Command Of The English Language

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He Is Super Cute

And you are all h8ers ;P

 

by Amanda Jennings, age 9


 

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