2. Using “y’know,” “totally” or “basically” more than three times within five sentences.
3. Unplugging your cell phone and your coffee pot…to help SAVE the PLANET.
4. (Men) Wearing a football jersey three sizes too big for you.
5. Medicating your son for his “abnormal” behavior, that is, in fact, quite normal behavior for a boy.
6. Pursuing a conversation with someone fifty feet away across a parking lot for more than a minute.
7. Speaking of a tax cut as something that “costs” money.
9. (Men) Wearing a baseball cap backwards.
10. Calling someone greedy for simply wanting to keep something that belongs to them.
11. (Women) Speaking of the demands you make on men, and your refusal to ever be satisfied with their attempts to meet them, as if that’s an endearing quality.
12. (Men) Marrying a woman who brings nothing to the table except her incessant demands.
13. Ordering a fancy coffee drink with whipped cream on top…taking special care that it is made with NON FAT MILK…
14. …and then bitching away about your household budget while you slurp a morning-beverage that costs four bucks.
15. Hitting Reply-All button, “I Agree!” and Send, when you get a message specifically requesting people not to use Reply-All all the time.
17. Wishing aloud that our country would “sit down and talk with our enemies” and “stop offending our allies,” without elaborating on what agreements should & shouldn’t be made, which allies these are supposed to be, or how exactly they’ve been offended.
18. Using the words “strip bar” to describe the Hooters restaurant chain.
19. Chastising someone else for being stupid, for simply disagreeing with you, while making third-grade mistakes with homonyms like “your” and “you’re,” “our” and “hour,” “their,” “there” and “they’re,” and “one” and “won.”
20. Using the word “majority” to legitimize an opinion, as if you wouldn’t want to be doing that selectively.
21. Three thousand dollar rims on a one thousand dollar car.
22. Hearing of one man’s sad tale of the life he shared with an unscrupulous female, and the wreckage his life became afterward, responding with the timeless non-sequitur “Not all women are like that.”
23. Watching reality television.
25. Advertising your opinion that Sarah Palin is stupid when you’ve never actually met her.
26. Getting a tattoo on your face…
27. …consisting of images or words you wouldn’t want your grandmother (or your job-interview guy) to see.
28. Using the word “loving” as a euphemism for homosexual.
29. Climbing into the cage to make friends with the wild animal at the zoo.
30. “The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.”
31. Leaving the bathroom with a foot and a half of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.
33. Skateboarding in a parking lot.
34. Driving several miles with your blinker on.
35. Extolling the virtues of some country’s “free” education and/or “free” health care.
36. Talking about how you’re overweight because of your “metabolism” or your “genes”…when your mouth is full.
38. Beginning any statement about your political views with “Hey hey, ho ho.”
39. Talking about childrens’ “self esteem.”
40. Talking about the “stimulus” as if it is a job-saver, rather than a left-wing giveaway.
POP HONESTY QUIZZ...
1. DID YOU HESITATE TO READ THE BLOG BECAUSE OF THE WARNING SIGN AT THE BEGGENING?