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463 Funny Votes
178 Die Votes
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Published October 21, 2008

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Did you know?

* Obama has never publicly stated that he is not a flesh vehicle for a team of tiny aliens

* Obama has fallen asleep to the history channel. What secret Hitler dream messages now rule his subconscious?

* Obama routinely hibernates from July 3rd to July 5th. 

* Obama refuses to talk about any instances in which he accidentally defecated in his pants. Are we to believe a human can go their entire lives without an urgent fecal mistake? America deserves the truth. 

* Obama does not know how to drive a monster truck.

* Ask your self this, has Obama ever shaken your hand, looked you directly in the eye, and told you he's not a Muslim? Why not? Is he scared you'll know he's lying. If he's done this once, why hasn't he done it twice? 

* Obama hasn't taken the time to write any patriotic songs. Obama has written zero patriotic songs. Zero. No ditties either.

* Obama's teeth, being made of enamel, are capable of crushing the windpipe of a smiling child. Yet, he chooses to keep them.

* Obama wouldn't laugh at the jokes you like. They'd make him uncomfortable. 

* Obama has never bought Ronald Reagan a drink. 

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