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October 09, 2017
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Description

We pit man vs machine again to see who could come up with the funniest one-star Yelp reviews if they were written by a malfunctioning robot!

This article is the second collaboration between the Pitch App writing community and the Botnik collective (check out the first here). Botnik writers use generative technology to make jokes with a predictive text tool that draws upon massive reservoirs of words whereas Pitch has hundreds of comedy writers writing the old fashioned way.

For this experiment we had both groups write “One Star Yelp Reviews From A Malfunctioning Robot.” We then had a Funny or Die editor pick their favorite jokes without knowing which were written by who.

So, here are those Yelp reviews! While they can all be enjoyed on their own, if you wish to guess which were written by human and which by machine, we have stuck the answers below!

One-Star Yelp Reviews From A Malfunctioning Robot

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Answers

I paid with my sister. The barista told me I was very loud and I was. (BOT)

No ham sandwiches in coffee at midnight! Why no easy ham sandwich? (HUMAN)

It was a cold birthday. Service was overpriced. Never star (HUMAN)

When I asked to eat the candlelight, the waiter threatened to throw water on my face. Is that any way to treat someone trying to create a love night? (BOT)

Steamy sandwich smoothies for my diet birthday. The man told me what not to do, and I did it. I checked the clever doors—no locks! (HUMAN)

literally astonished by the price of an average scalp (BOT)

Wifi is a bit strange… website unfriendly, I ended up in a room with no ham - bad for a coffeeshop (BOT)

Salmon burst upon tonguing. Cocktails shaken raw. (HUMAN)

Horrible toddler should greet you but her voice sounds processed in a toilet. First problem. Then there’s yogurt on the door!! (BOT)

Next door hotel people tried to breed all night long with great thunder and painful tears. Even drunk tv game shows did not block out the gutter sounds. Front desk said I could not join in as a courtesy even though I offered to apply the obviously needed bandaid. Hotel may be a place where women sell themselves but I did not have the change to hire them. (BOT)

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