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July 10, 2008


I have some cake on my face.

Wait, I said that wrong.  My face is actually ON a cake.

You know they can do that now.

It wasn't enough that they gave everyday average citizen's the ability to put their ugly mugs on shirts, calendars, and well MUGS,  but now you can place your chubby cake eating face on the very cake you are eating.

I could be an informed opinion spitter and research how they actually put your skull cover on what I effectionately call a "group cupcake" or a "snack" if you are lonely, but I am going based on gut reaction. It has worked for Bill O'Reilly so let's see how fair I can sail this ship before it capsizes.

Whether it was a shrewed business decision or some blind financial side effect from face cakes, there is a perpetual machine working that I find very amusing. Say, hypothetically, you buy a cake with your face on it. Then you eat the whole cake. If you are like 900,000,000,000,000 Americans you will continue the slow process of getting fat. That means the next time you think to get a cake with your smiling face on it you will be fatter, thus forcing you to buy a bigger cake. Pretty soon you are eating the biggest cake that they have available and you can no longer tie your own shoes. It is sad.

IF you are amused by the world of MUG SHOT CAKES then I suggest you take a picture of yourself when you were younger and thinner and ALWAYS use that picture on the cake (much like older fatter women on dating websites).

Next blog: Why erotic bakeries have left me sexually, emotionally and nutritionally confused.