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January 19, 2017
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A man, a sex bus, and a self-driving perv-bot.

Commercial drivers, including the famed BangBus, are facing decreased job security as self-driving vehicles become more and more integrated into the transportation infrastructure.

“The BangBus is an American institution and to replace that human element is to deface that legacy” stated BangBus driver George Pooney. “A robot can’t banter about hot chicks, dames, babes, honeys, and broads like a human can. Woman don’t want to be hollered at by some R2-D2-bot driver. They wanna be yelled at by this guy” Pooney stated without a single hint of irony.

The new self-driving BangBuses, posed to be released in early 2018, come with self-cleaning features, condom dispensers, and an A.I voice named Buddy that hurls subtly racist and misogynist compliments to the female performers. “We wanted to keep the experience authentic as possible” stated BangBus engineers.

“Sure, they think they’re watching for the hardcore pornographic sex but they stay for the witty banter” said Pooney. “I just love my job and would hate to have to go back teaching Pre-K.”

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