or

 

 

The

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Chihuahua

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Once living the Hollywood high life,  Heraldo

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is now renting a rundown dog house

in Barstow, Ca.

 

     In this exclusive interview we’ll reveal how he piddled away a fortune, partying with Tea Cup Poodles, while lapping up Tequila laced Gravy Train. And, how palling around with Charlie Sheen’s dogs got him in big trouble with his TV commercial sponsors.  

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Charlie Sheen's Two and a Half Dogs
 
     “It’s a typical show biz story.” said his former agent, Bernie. “All that fame and fortune came too fast and he just couldn’t handle it. At the end there, he was sucking up those Margaritas like no tomorrow, and (this is off the record) one night he was so boozed up they found him trying to hump a cat tree.”
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Heraldo showing underage party goer how to lick

salt off Margarita glass. Photo Courtesy: MADD

(Mothers Against Drunk Dogs.)

 

 

NO MORE CHA CHING FOR CHIHUAHUA 

 

     Insiders say that partying, freeloading friends and bad investments drained away the star’s fortune. However, Heraldo insists that the feline flavored chew sticks, serape flea collars and the doggy designer perfume "Butt Breath" were good ideas that just didn’t catch on.

    “Heraldo spent money like there was no tomorrow.” said his longtime pal, a black Lab named Booker. “We were swinging every night. He liked those little Poodles, but they weren’t my style. None of ‘em had ever even heard of obedience school.” 

 

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Booker and Heraldo at Frasier wrap party, 2001   

     

     After the Taco Bell commercials, Heraldo tried other projects, but none were successful. One was a TV movie filmed in Mexico where he was the funny sidekick to the German Shepherd hero and insultingly, they only gave him one line, “Yo quiero Loco weed!”  The critics gave it a ‘Lift of the leg.’ That disaster was followed by a short-lived sitcom called, Mis Amigos Son Perros. (My Friends Are Dogs.) But, the ratings took a big hit when the show was ripped off by a new human reality show called, My Friends Look Like Dogs. 

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Heraldo's TV Movie Love Interest is Now

a Big Star on a Guatemalan Soap Opera

     

     Unfortunately, Heraldo’s next (and last) TV project miscast him as a drug sniffing detective dog in the hour long crime drama, Law and Odor. Soon the faded star found himself relegated to appearing at pet store and dog wash openings. He is currently working full time as a security guard for a doll house factory.

 

Breaking News! 

Heraldo Fired From Doll House Factory Job 

Fails to Detect Home Invasion Robbery

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