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Published January 08, 2012

 

 Text Abbreviation Guide for the Elderly

LOL? LMFAO? WTF? These are common text abbreviations that your grandchildren could possibly be using today. It’s like those little tykes have their own language! It’s a language indeed, a language of evil. Yes, you’ve seen your precious granddaughter use LOL before, but what does LOL mean? It means she’s a whore. A dirty, dirty whore.

The texting game is a very dangerous game for young adults to get involved in. Sexting, sexual abbreviations and pedophiles make it very dangerous for your grandchild to have a cell phone. Being the benevolent being I am, I compiled a list of common text acronyms and their meanings for you (the loving grandparent) to learn. Maybe you can catch your 14 year old grandson using these acronyms and get him the help he needs before he gets caught up in a teacher sex scandal.

WTF- “Want to Fornicate?”                                                

BRB- “Beer run, baby!”

LOL- “Let’s orgasm later.”

IMHO- “In my happy orifice”

IRL- “I’m really lickable”

OMG- “Oh! My green!”  (As in MARIJUANA!!!)

XOXO- This is a reference to the movie Human Centipede. Let’s just say the O is the head and the X is the body. Horrifying, isn’t it?

LMAO- “Lick me all over”

IDK- “I do kill.” (I see this one all of the time. It’s terrifying to see how many possible teenage murderers are out there.)

BFF- “Best Fornication Friend”

FWIW – “Fun weed is fun.”

NP- “No pants.”

IRL- “I really lubricate.”

SOL- “Sex over love”

BTW- “Buy the weed.”

G2G- “Got to grind.”

ILY- I love yay (Yay is a street name for cocaine!!!)

These are just some of the horrible text abbreviations that young people use today. If you see your grandchild using these abbreviations over text messaging, Facebook or Twitter, IMMEDIATELY dispose of their computer, cellphone, laptop, iPhone, iPad, etc. If they use these terms THEY ARE doing drugs and having sex.  If they try to tell you that LOL means “laughing out loud” they are lying. That’s what these teenagers want you to think. Don’t ask questions or even talk to your grandchildren, just take action immediately.

Trust me. Your sexually promiscuous, drug taking grandchildren will thank you in the long run.

And you can thank me later.

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