FEB. 28, 2012


Apple is expected to unveil a third version of the iPad sometime next week.

Because you know the old saying: “If they ain’t broke, fix that.”


Two chimpanzees at a zoo in New Orleans got their mates pregnant, despite the fact they had both had vasectomies upon arriving at the zoo.

So you know what we can learn from this. Don’t have sex with those chimpanzees.

Further science shows that chimps are able to grow back the tube where their sperm comes from, even if it’s been snipped by a veterinary surgeon, or so says the guy that got outwitted by a very angry monkey.


Hank Haley, the author of a new Tiger Woods biography, says that Tiger told him in their interviews that before he became a professional golfer, Tiger was seriously thinking of pursuing a career as a Navy SEAL.

Makes sense, he probably would have gotten a ton of tail for killing Bin Laden.


The European Union has criticized Google’s new privacy, saying that the terms they state are vague and they are worried that the site “may not be protecting users’ privacy enough”.

You must have a bad privacy policy if you’re pissing of a continent full of nude beaches.


In what might be the most obvious scientific conclusion ever reached, Norwegian scientists have published a study claiming that smoking marijuana is tied to people having less motivation to do work.

The proof? They started doing this study 15 years ago.