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August 19, 2015

Jesus has lived to age 40, has wife Mary (of Magdalene) is staying with his father (Joseph) along with a talking camel, Blake, lamb, Henry and 3 children; Hazel, Pete and J.J. (Jesus Junior). Mother Mary is away from home giving lectures. Jesus' disciples, the Rankin Bass drum factory, and Joseph's mood swings all make for fun that IsREAL.

A little alternate history; it is 35 A.D. and Jesus’ celebrity is in full bloom after a getting into some trouble a couple years earlier in Jerusalem. He was basically given a slap on both wrists after speaking out too loudly against the elders. Jesus has inherited his fathers’ (Joseph, in this case) carpentry business but gets little work done due to constant visits from his followers, helping the good people of Nazareth, and the frequent interactions with The Disciples. Joseph is semi-retired and shares his home, mostly begrudgingly, with Jesus and a live-in girlfriend, Mary (of Magdalene). Jesus mother Mary (no longer The Virgin), has achieved a following of her own on the heels of her sons fame and has begun giving paid lectures around Galilee and is rarely home. She sometimes demands up to seven hundred and fifty shekels per appearance. A real crowd pleaser is when she says that she can see Herod’s house from her roof. Jesus continues to perform miracles, though occasionally lately with mixed results. He attempted to extend the miracle of speech to animals from just Christmas at midnight until dawn, and specifically for a camel and lamb that the family kept, to other occasions. In many cases, Jesus and some of his remaining Disciples needed the speaking animals as a diversion to steer Joseph away from unfinished carpentry jobs. Through a misjudgment in execution, Blake the Camel and Henry the Lamb can now speak clear and fluently the year round except from midnight Christmas till sunrise.
The largest employer in Nazareth is The Rank and Bass factory, maker of most of the consumers’ needs such as bricks, olive oil lamps, shawls and small drums for boys.
Indeed, the gatekeeper at R & B was a small lad, named Simon, with a walking deficiency who nevertheless had one of the drums strung across his chest and tapped it as he slowly strode about the plant. The crueler children of Nazareth would ring a bell at the gate and then run and hide behind a sand dune, starting Harry on a long journey to answer it to no avail.
Mary M. tries to keep Jesus focused on the important projects of the day, keeping some of the disciples from corrupting matters, dealing with Joseph’s’ mood swings, maintaining a home with a talking Camel and lamb all while trying to raise the 3 kids; Hazel, Pete and JJ, (Jesus Junior), the youngest.