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Published December 17, 2008 More Info »
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Published December 17, 2008

well its snowing out.  no biggie right?  as many people live on the prairies where it reaches like -40 Celcius, which is oddly enough is also -40 in fahrenheit for all you americans who are allowed to bask in my canadian thoughts (note the lack of restriction for you; should this be a two way street FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS?) i'm not a fan of this unfortunate name for a temperature measurement, given its difficult spelling.  its misleading if you were to spell it as you say it (fairenheight) versus the way you'd say it as its spelt (fawwwrennnheeet)  exaggerated, perhaps..but i illustrate a point that some words should be respelt to reflect the way they're said...school, schedule, tissue, knife for example would become skool, skedule, tishyou, and niife.  hmm i guess that looks pretty stupid doesnt it?  its the kind of stuff elementary school dropouts write to the crazy ladies that are lookin for love in the prison systems (you know who you ladies are...is it really that hard to find someone a little less "committed"?)  now not all elementary school dropouts are in prison; i just dont know what they do as i'm pretty sure even buddy pressing the steamer down on your big mac patties has some form of education that's on a fancy sheet of paper (note the pressing, as i don't see much burger flipping...)
anyways, words have nothing to do with snow, unless you belive in the misconception that the "eskimo" has over fifty words for snow; i looked into this, and they dont.  i'm pretty sure, that like the rest of society, the inuit see snow as frozen water molecules that have formed into crystalline flakes that group together to form a white layer over all outdoor surfaces, making the traversing of the land increasingly difficult given the occasional solidification of these crystalline structures.  ok, maybe no ones that intense, except for molecular physicists and even then they'd just get disgruntled and settle into scraping the windows of their older model stationwagons.  i see molecular physicists as being stationwagon kinda guys; they aren't quite important enough for more modern  vehicles such as the volvo or volkswagon.  if these professionals even exist, they'd be modest for sure and definitely have combovers, whiiich would blow over because of the blizzard's winds and cause them to look humourous to everyone, except for themselves because as everyone knows, those with combovers never notice when they go from looking ridiculous to ludicrous (and no, im not talkin rap or speed, though smoke if you got em [ 5 points to whoever notices that reference])
so really theres not much i can do here about the whole six centimeters of snow here (2.36220" according to a conversion site, again because i think you americans are swell and i wanna make sure your reading of this goes along smooothly) anyways, i guess im still salty about the fact i cannot see the flight of the conchords premiere episode because somehow theres a way to detect where in the world i am, yet no way for me to enjoy instant toast.  there was a need for a system to exclude the world from watching something, yet no ones tried to make instant toast; they have five second bacon, yet no toast.  sometimes bread just doesnt cut it.  man alive...i think im gunna go roll all over the driveway now and get rid of some of this snow and ice.  might as well do something useful with my bitter self...

...ok, im not thaaat crazy.  salty, yes; crazy, no.  don't worry. all will be...super..nintendo?

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