Monday (Raw), Tuesday (ECW), Friday (Smackdown), and certain Sunday
nights (ppv) are off limits for him; he will be parked in front of his
tv wearing his replica WWE Championship Spinner Title Belt with his
phone turned off so he doesn’t miss a thing. He wears his NWO and
Austin 3:16 shirt with pride. He considers The Marine oscarworthy and
has the complete box set of Thunder in Paradise on dvd. He collects
wrestling action figures (and whatever you do don’t call them dolls).
He has named his pet snakes Damien and Lucifer in homage to Jake “The
Snake” Roberts. He still hasn’t been kissed by a girl yet because he
is “saving himself” for Stacy Keibler. He has a lifetime subscription
to Pro Wrestling Illustrated under the name Hulkamaniac and has it
mailed to his parents house where he lives in the basement (note he
with his parents; he pays rent and has a separate door to his “apartment”).
Even if you tell him that wrestling is fake, he won’t believe you.
He will deny it saying that it is real pointing to the significant
injuries suffered by certain wrestlers. He will ask you how diving off
a twenty foot high steel cage onto another wrestler is fake. He will
ask how they can fake a steel chair shot to the head or being thrown
out of the ring through a table. But once he finds out it is actually
scripted, he makes a face like you kicked his dog and told him there
was no Santa, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy all at once.